I care about octopus care.

Like most Americans, I get really worried when my pet octopus is sick, and I find the inavailability of health care for octopi to be one of the more troubling facets of our society. What are we supposed to do if we wake up drenched in our beloved pet's ink to the sound of it's beak champing in fear? What do we do when the nearest veterinarian certified in octopi care AND who runs a 24 hour emergency clinic is more than three hours away by car? They have helicopters for people, so they need helicopters for octopi damnit. I remember the days when any Nurse or EMT could start an octopoidal IV, but now they need to bring in a specialist. Those precious lost hours could mean the difference between the need to amputate a tentacle. Biology journals may claim that we've made great strides in marine medicine, but I'm still waiting for the day when every household in this country has an octopi medicine kit safely tucked away under their sinks. Maybe then we could sleep easy at night.